One of my favorite teachers from high school won Barns and Noble national teacher of the year. They had a little reception thing yesterday. I had to go say hi and congratulations to her, and consequently see a lot of people I went to high school with. A lot of them were asking where Zoey was. To basically everyone I just said she was in bed. But to one of the few friends I actually got along with I told the truth. Which was:
I walked home from class ready to pick her up and found her playing with the puppy's poop on the stairs. Apparently it makes for great makeup. And is great for exfoliating feet. So I had to give her a bath and decided it would be best if she just put her in jamms and put her to bed since it was almost 8 by that time.
She said, well its a good thing she didn't eat it.
That reminded me of another story.
We are in the starting phases of potty training. The other day she was running around with a dress and no diaper. She was playing out on her deck. Jessica said "I think she is going potty." So we ran her to her potty. She had her hand between her legs, and when we pulled it down she had poop all over her hand. Yuck. So we hurried and cleaned her all up. I go back outside and see that she had already gone potty and there was a huge chunk of intestinal gold. Before I could grab something to pick it up, Rusty in all her glory ran over and grabbed it. Lovely..... So I spent a good 10 minutes...ok it was more like 30 seconds but still... running after a dog with a bunch of my daughters poop in her mouth. I guess I can cross that off my bucket list.
After I got about half way through the story I realized I had just spent 10 minutes talking to someone I have seen twice in the past 5 years about crap. Literally. I have such a potty mouth. And she, being the kind spirit she is just smiled and nodded at all the appropriate moments. It was at that moment that I realized that I have a hard time socializing with people who don't have children.
Its crazy what one little person can do to my social skills.
"I guess I can cross that off my bucket list" made me laugh out loud. You're awesome.
ReplyDeleteIts like you are a nurse. "When was your last bowel movement? What was it like? Do you have gas pains now? May I listen to your stomach? Here is a stool softener." A W K W A R D.
ReplyDelete