Eventful Weekend

I celabrated my birthday on Friday. My dad was real excited because IFA was supposed to get a big shipment in of lots of baby chickens, and he wanted Zoey to go see them. So he said we will go on your birthday and go out to lunch. Z and I got ready early in the morning...ok, so maybe it was more like 10...and went to my Grandma's to pick up my mom. (she lives there at the moment. But my parents are still married. Its a complicated arrangement they got going on.) She still had to get ready, so she took Zoey downstairs to "help." While I ended up taking an hour nap on the couch. It was great. Then we went to my dad's. And he still had who knows what to get ready. So I got to watch my discovery health chanel, which I love but don't get at home.  So that was great too. This whole time Zoey kept saying "baby chickens! baby chickens!"

We finally got there. And as excited as Zoey was, she really didn't like the baby chickens. She actually was kind of scared of them. It was kinda funny. She didn't mind the baby ducks or bunnys though. They have these quail there that were probably the size of a quarter. They were so tiiiiiiiiny. And cute. Apparently you keep them in an aquarium. Interesting. But whatev. 

By the time we get out of there it is already 3, so we just get hamburgers on our way and eat them at his house. By 4 Chris is calling to say he will be home in an hour and to get ready because he wanted to take me to Salt Lake for dinner. It takes a while to get everything ready to go (do you see a patern with my family. Its no wonder I was always late to things growing up.) And for some reason I get home at 5:30. Chris is upset that it took so long. By this time I was just tired and didn't really feel like going out to eat. But he told me we are going because he is leaving in a couple days (more on that later). And we drive and drive.

Turns out he planned a surprise dinner at Joe's Crab Shack! We walk in and there were some friends, and a little while some balloons. Charlotte and Brittany got stuck in traffic. They were supposed to be there before me. I was so surprised. It was a great night.

Saturday Chris had to work. But I had lunch with a few friends I hadn't seen in a long time. It was super nice. Zoey was being a goof like always and shaking her head vegerously whenever they talked to her. Silly thing. Chris got home and we had dinner at my Grandma's. It was a nice night there too. Zoey loves helping her get ready for bed. She knows every single thing she does. Which is a lot. She even got a little tooth flosser thing in a bag. She was in heaven. She even had to sleep with the flosser. It was pretty funny.

Oh! And I got a letter back from the DATC. I am an alternate for the nursing program. Finally not a rejection letter...but not an acceptance letter either. So I just have more waiting to see if I get in.

Sunday was our relax and watch Confrence day.

And so there you have it. My weekend in a nutshell.

On a side note, I only have 2 more chemistry assignments and 1 more test and I'm done with that class. And I have a paper and 2 quizes for microbiology and I'm done there. And it looks like I might get decent grades in it. So if I don't get in this time, I'm a shoe in for Spring.

Not a very exciting story.

So Tuesday I went to the store to get dinner. They had their deli meat on sale so I decided to get stuff for French Dip Sandwiches the next night (last night). I was all excited because I was being prepared and I wouldn't have to run to the store again.

Well, last night Chris told me that his dad was going to stay with us because they were going to be working late. So in my infinite wisdom I ran to the store to get more bread because 4 rolls wasn't going to cut it for two meat lovin men. Zoey and I were super duper fast. She was well behaved. It was a perfect store run. I then ran over to my mom's to hang out for a little bit to kill time until dinner. Then Chris calls again and says that his dad wants a bell pepper and onion to put on his sandwich. And I needed more meet. (why didn't I think about that! grrrr) Dang, so off to the store again. This time I wasn't so lucky with Zoey. She ended up falling asleep on the way there, so she was miss grumpy gills for me waking her up. So we went to the bakery and got her a cookie. I am not above bribery with my child. Sometimes it is the only thing possible. lol. So she ended up just sitting on my purse eating her cookie while I got the last few things. The roast beef went off sale, so I ended up paying more for half the amount I got last night. bummer.

So, somehow I managed to go to the store twice in one day without a tantrum. I usually get like 4 in one trip. It was lovely. And then we got home. And well....my perfect angel was no longer an angel.

The End.

work

So I realized I should mention that I may be a bit absent from now on out.

I got a new job. Not only that, its a full time job. 8-4 Monday through Friday. Its the first time I have ever had a full time job. I've worked full time hours between my two part time jobs I have had several times. But never all in one place. But never while I have been a mama. So it is a bit of an adjustment juggling the whole working mom thing.

Not only did I get a new job, Zo started to go to "school." This has also been an adjustment. Probably more so for me that it is for her. She screams when I leave her, but Chris says she always is hesitant to leave when he picks her up. And they give her crackers in the morning. I found this out when she woke up this morning and thats the first thing she asked for. But she has blossomed. She is a lot more vocal than before. And last night we played with one of our couple friends who have a little boy a few months older than Zo and they played wonderfully.For the first time. So as much as I hate having to give her to other people to take care of while I am gone, I love that it is helping her by being with lots of kids.

I never knew that I would love a job as much as I love this one. Its my first CNA job, and it is just perfect. I go to this man's house and hang out with him all day. I wanted to do home care because I hated the assembly line feel at a nursing home. I get to actually help him. Make a difference more than just change their clothes and wheel them to the dining room. I was actually kind of sad when I said my good byes yesterday, knowing that it would be 2 whole days without going there. I love having days off and being able to just spend time with my family, but part of me misses my job. How cool is that?! I found a job after months of not working that I just love. Perfect. I know that I have been put here to help people. And this has truly shown me that nursing really is my calling.

Flash from the Past

So I had one of those country song moments where you meet someone in your past and feel proud of your future kinda thing. Only we were just friends.

A little history lesson:
I went to school with this girl since 2nd grade. And I swear, most of the time we were in competition with everything. We did become really good friends for a couple of years in middle school, but we still had about the same ambitions. Something happened in 8th grade, I'm foggy on the details now, but long story short she hated me. With a passion.

Jump forward to high school. We made up freshmen year, friends again for most of high school but were in different groups. My school of 100 wasn't really big enough to justify calling them cliques. Anywho, we still kinda kept going for the same scholastic goals. Some she got, some I did. After graduation the girls went on a little trip. I was only there for one of the 4 or 5 days everyone else was. And apparently after I left she got upset over something and left early. All of us were deleted off facebook and no one really heard of her again.

....until last weekend. I saw her at a local ice cream shop. I contemplated on talking to her for a bit, then Zoey got loose and ran off. She naturally cut in front of her and her parents, so a conversation was inevitable. Turns out she is leaving in a couple weeks to get her PhD. Holy cow, I just got my bachelors! Talk about a downer.

But then, I realized there was no ring on her finger. No child calling her mom. And I realized that I am the lucky one. My education is just as important to me as it is to her, our goals are just different. for once. I would not trade my family for any degree in the world. They are my pride and joy now. They are what is important.

Sure, it would be awsome to be called Dr. Alicia. But, honestly, I am Dr. mom, chef mommy, mama nurse.... and I am totally ok with that.

poor Zoey

Well....it happened.

I've been waiting for the day. And here it is.

I officially have my "mom card."

How does one get a mom card you ask, as if the labor thing isn't enough.
As a woman, we are made to give birth. As a mom, we are made to give THE LOOK.

And that, my friend, is what happened.

Zoey was being naughty, and the third time she tried to do something I simply said her name and I was possessed and my eyes turned into lazers. And you know what? She actually stopped what she was doing!!!
I've attempted to give her the look, and it never worked. But this time I had no control over it. It just happened. The look has a very strong power over the victim, and today I found out it has power over the mom as well.

Woot! I am now a mom. Zoey and I are now on level ground in this fight known as parenting.

two stories and a half

One of my favorite teachers from high school won Barns and Noble national teacher of the year. They had a little reception thing yesterday. I had to go say hi and congratulations to her, and consequently see a lot of people I went to high school with. A lot of them were asking where Zoey was. To basically everyone I just said she was in bed. But to one of the few friends I actually got along with I told the truth. Which was:

I walked home from class ready to pick her up and found her playing with the puppy's poop on the stairs. Apparently it makes for great makeup. And is great for exfoliating feet. So I had to give her a bath and decided it would be best if she just put her in jamms and put her to bed since it was almost 8 by that time.

She said, well its a good thing she didn't eat it.

That reminded me of another story.

We are in the starting phases of potty training. The other day she was running around with a dress and no diaper. She was playing out on her deck. Jessica said "I think she is going potty." So we ran her to her potty. She had her hand between her legs, and when we pulled it down she had poop all over her hand. Yuck. So we hurried and cleaned her all up. I go back outside and see that she had already gone potty and there was a huge chunk of intestinal gold. Before I could grab something to pick it up, Rusty in all her glory ran over and grabbed it. Lovely..... So I spent a good 10 minutes...ok it was more like 30 seconds but still... running after a dog with a bunch of my daughters poop in her mouth. I guess I can cross that off my bucket list.

After I got about half way through the story I realized I had just spent 10 minutes talking to someone I have seen twice in the past 5 years about crap. Literally. I have such a potty mouth. And she, being the kind spirit she is just smiled and nodded at all the appropriate moments. It was at that moment that I realized that I have a hard time socializing with people who don't have children.


 Its crazy what one little person can do to my social skills.

Puppy VS Toddler

Puppies:
No thumbs...so they can't open doors if fully clothed.

Toddlers:
Open doors for puppies who can't.

Puppies:
Run away when they get outside from the door that was originally closed.

Toddlers:
Chase said puppy.

Mother:
Can't catch two small children for an hour.

playdough, rice crispy treats, and two parks! What more can a lil girl ask for.

Today I woke up kinda early. Ok. it was only 9. But Zo was still asleep so I actually got some stuff done. I did my hair and makeup! That never happens around here. Then I decided to make Zoey some playdough. Its actually really easy! I'm all for easy. AND there is no nastyness in it. Its all edible...not that a bunch of salt, flour, oil, and water actually tastes good.

Zoey woke up around 10:30. Which was heaven since she hasn't been sleeping good and has be on one for the last couple days. I gave her the playdough to play with. She wasn't a fan. She just pushed it out of her way and pretended it wasn't there. But I guess that's ok. I doesn't look all that pretty. And we all know that Zoey loves pretty things. We will try again when she is a little bigger.

Then we got this bright idea to go to the park with the puppy. Then we got an even greater idea to go to the park with Connor. He is a little boy who was born roughly 1455 minutes after Zoey. I went to school with his mom, Bridget, back in the day, but she was a grade above me. Then we became facebook friends when we were pregnant and started reading each other's blogs. We have wanted to get them together for a while, especially since he is obsessed with cows like Zo.

So we went to the park. Zoey was strange and just wanted to be help or sit on my lap. Connor on the other hand was having a fabulous time running everywhere. She was the smart mommy and brought a camera. So you can see the fabulous playdate here. You will laugh. She is pretty darn funny. And Connor is a cutie.
But you can see for yourself.

We got home and surprised dad with so rice crispy treats. I have been having a hankerin for some crispy rice mallow goodness for a while now. So I figured today would be a perfect day.

Zo actually liked this part of the day. Go figure. Bribe her with food and she is golden.

(Yes, I stuck a fork in it and called it done. ha ha ha ha. I am one funny person.)



We ended the day with a "big salad" (also known as a salad with anything I can find that is salad like. Today it was chicken, bacon, saltine crackers (Its a hubby thing...but pretty good actually!) and cucumber.) and some worn out children.

I know my heart, I know my mind.

...I know that I'm stuck up behind.

My mom used to say that to me all the time. But all kidding aside...

This is why I can't do much grocery shopping by myself. I tell her no, and she starts Tantrum WWIII.

Yes, this is her being angry with mom, not just being silly.

Bath Monster

Today I thought we would have fun and give Zoey a big, fun bubble bath.

Every young child's dream, right???

NOPE!

I'm pretty sure this is what she saw...

Becase she was horribly horribly scared of the bubbles.

The End.

I Am

I AM


I am a wife, and a mother. But mostly I'm me.
I wonder if I'm following where I'm led.
I hear my daughter's laughter.
I see a room full of toys.
I want a family who knows they're loved.
I am a wife, and a mother. But mostly I'm me.

I pretend to dance on stage: standing ovation.
I feel so very blessed.
I touch his hand, and know he's mine.
I worry that I worry too much.
I cry when I watch cartoons.
I am a wife, and a mother. But mostly I'm me.

I understand life isn't one size fits all.
I believe in Heavenly Father's Plan.
I dream of a backyard.
I try to put make up on every day.
I hope to grow old together.
I am a wife, and a mother. But mostly I'm me.

different forms

I don't even know where to start.

I got published in our schools literary journal. I was 1 of 7 short stories in it. I was on the short story staff my freshman year and we had like 40 entries, so there were probably about the same this year. So I was pretty proud of my work.

I had a strange feeling though after I read it in the book. It was a very personal story. And I gave the main character my name. So now there will be who knows how many people I don't know who will read it. And that's a scary thought. Now, I realize that is a silly thought for me to write on a public blog that the whole world can technically read. But here I can hide behind the fact that unless you personally know me, you don't really know me by reading this. My story on the other hand, shows a lot more than I think I would ever post on here. So that is scary.

But that is what I wanted, right? right.

My friend gave me a few ideas on how I could turn it into the book I dream of at night. It will happen one day. It will.

But, all that aside, the true reason of this post comes from the fact that I emailed my old English teacher saying I was published and I wanted to send her one. She responded quickly saying what a blessing it was to hear from me since she had been thinking of me lately. (We have kind of kept in touch since I graduated). Then she told me that her husband is very sick and has a webpage about him.

And so I read it. And I cried. No one should have to go through the struggles they are going through. She is such a strong person. And he has pushed every time frame they have given him. People don't just survive what he has unless they love their family so deeply, and have endless support and love from them. Please pray for their family. Cancer is an evil disease.

While I was reading the journal, I picked Zoey up with tears running down my face. She was upset because she wanted something or other and looked at me. She put her hand to my face and put her head on my shoulder. Comforting me. What a little angel I have. I think this was the first thing I have witnessed her understanding sadness and compassion. I love her.

Love: it comes in different form.

Workout

Tonight I tried the best new workout tonight.

Its called Tickle Monster Extreme.

First, you warm up by jumping off the stairs right in front of the fairy princess. This produces a giggly child that runs away from you.

You then run around the strange circle some brilliant architect created in your house for 30 minutes trying to do the Tickle Monster Attack.

During this thirty minutes there are spurts of hiding, crawling, laughing, and, of course, tickling!!!

After the Tickle Monster Extreme workout is over, you have successfully burned 10000 calories if done right, tired out the fairy princess, and spent the last 30 minutes having the best time in both of your lives.



PS- today was my last day at my job. I am now officially a stay at home mom...minus the whole student thing. And the substitute dance teacher thing. (Its amazing how new doors open at just the right time. I had interviewed for this dance school back in May. I had gone through 3 interviews and they said that they will get back to be to train to be a sub. Well, they never did. So I just shrugged it off. Then the day after I put my two weeks in, I got the call asking if I wanted to train. Its the perfect job for me. I can legitimately say no if I don't want to work. But I have the option to work if I need to. I taught for the first time last Thursday, it was so much fun!! They called me today but I had class. So I think it will be a good thing. I am so grateful for Heavenly Father listening to my prayers. This change is soooooooooo needed.)

great news

My week was something like this:

Sunday- work or in scipio. Never at home. or at our home ward.
Monday- Work 8-3:30. School 5-8:30
Tuesday- School 9-1:30 and 4-6
Wednesday- Help Grammy 8-12 Work 3-9
Thursday- School 9-3:30
Friday- School 10-2 Work (sometimes) 3-9
Saturday- work 9-5 or in Scipio or dancing in a performance.



Do you notice anything?

No Zoey Mommy time. No cuddle with the husband. No homework.

I've practically been a walking zombie for the past 2 months. Apparently everyone around me was noticing. Which kind of makes me mad because I was trying hard to appear strong and that it wasn't bothering me.

Well, we sat down and figured out how I can stay home with Zoey. And it worked. With a little help from my family. I'm going to clean my dads house once a week instead of paying him our car insurance. (he pays it in a lump sum every year and we pay him back monthly. Or else we did pay him back monthly).

I gave me two weeks Monday. And since then I have been able to walk around and not be weighed down. I've used the phrase "a weight off my shoulders" many times. But never did I truly understand the weightlessness that comes from that. Its more than a figure of speech.

And so starting in two weeks (the longest two weeks of my life), I won't be the crazy woman trying not to pull her hair out. I'll actually be a mommy again. I'll be able to be a loving wife, who actually cleans. AND I just might pass all my classes now! woot woot!

just one of those days

Yesterday was one of those days that just don't go right.

First, I can't find my keys. After 20 minutes I looked in my car. It was unlocked. And there were my keys, hidden under Zoey's Kobe Bear. The positive side of me would say how lucky I was that my car was unlocked and didn't get broken into. But the negative me focused on the fact that this made me late for work.


Then, as I was walking in the parking lot at work my foot grazed over a used condom that was on the ground. GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS!!!!!!! There is no positive moments about this....


Then, my car wouldn't turn on during my lunch. Lovely. But it turned on 10 minutes later for some reason. So the positive person would be happy that it did turn on, but the negative side of me is still pretty upset at my car for taking away my precious lunch time.

After work, I can't find anyone to know where Zoey is. So I just go home without my lil baby to leave 50 minutes later for school. Chris put her to bed early before I got home. So I only saw her for the 10 minutes it takes to wake her up, plop her in the car, and drop her off. I need my Zoey fix.

But, on a positive note, this may be the end of a negative chapter in my life. I'm really hoping for all who are involved that this is it.

Also, we found out that Zoey is going to have yet another boyfriend. (this isn't a bad thing, btw). She is the only girl out of all our friends. Maybe its a sign that I'm going to have to give her a sister soon. *Sigh*

break

I'm sorry, but I will be taking a break from the blog for a while. Its a bit much for me to be going to school full time and working 25ish hours a week with Zoey. So to be the best mommy I can be this is going to have to go to the side for a while. The semester ends in April, so expect a nice sorry I've been gone so long blog.

But on a happy note, I'm taking a Children's Lit class so I'm reading 29 books. Thats not the happy part, the happy part is that Zoey's Library will be increasing a lot this semester, and we will be spending some fun time at the Library. :)

What I will teach my daughter

This weekend I learned a few things that I want Zoey to understand.

*I want her to know the importance of being graceful in ones actions.
*If she says one thing I hope she realizes that it still applies when the tables are turned.
*Life is not a matter of what you are doing, but who you are doing it with.
*Family comes first. I know there will be a time when she thinks otherwise, but eventually, I hope, she will understand that family is our most important asset in life.
*Running around in a diaper will one day be unacceptable. :)

I hope you all had a great Christmas and are enjoying the holidays together with those you love.
Now, I am going to enjoy my sisters while they visit for a few days.

What I learned today...

*A ball point pen is harder to scrub off a wiggly toddler than a gel pen.

*Do not go to the store and leave Z-dawg sitting by two bags of chips and my laptop with Chris when he is playing a new video game.

*Animal Crackers look different than when I was a kid. They actually look like animals rather than blobs with 4 legs.

*Zoey loves said animal crackers. She also likes putting things in containers. Animal crackers almost dissolve in a cup of Mt. Dew.

*Nothing is safe anymore.


I'm kind of worried about this whole being a mother to a toddler thing if this was one day, and she turned 14 months today. But, on a good note, I found the first sippy cut we bought that she didn't like. Now she loves it and she carried it around with her favorite cow animal all day. I love that little girl.