Wednesday, May 30, 2012

my pillow

So I have this pillow. We shall name it little pillow. My mom got it at her baby shower for me with a matching blanket. For some reason, I adopted that pillow as my lovely. Some people have security blankets growing up, Zoey has her cow. I, my friends, had a pillow. I couldn't sleep without it growing up. I used to take it everywhere with me in case my house caught on fire. Literally, that's what I thought of. It was pretty important, and I knew my parents wouldn't think to grab it for me if I was gone. When I got to the point that I was going on sleep overs I learned to do without it for a night, but it was hard. And I never slept well.

It has been so used and loved that my grandma resurfaced (? is that the right word) it several times. So as it is now the original whatever it was is under 3 layers of newer material.

I won't lie, I still have it. However, I have a small pillowcase on it to hide the dinosaurs. lol. I can sleep without it no problem, but I am always more comfortable with it. I guess that's what I get after 24 years with the thing.

Anywho, I come to the point of this blog....

 My dear dear daughter has decided that she too must sleep with "Mommy's Pillow." I try to hide it so she doesn't see it, but she generally remembers it and screams for it. And so my little pillow is now my child's. And I'm jealous. And I feel bad, because I don't see her sharing with number two when she is old enough. And so that means she doesn't get the comfort and love that I have grown up with.

And so most nights when I go in and check on her I always see if my pillow is in a place I can steal it. Sometimes I can take it and life is good. Other times I can't, but life is still good, because my little angel is sleeping. And there are few things more precious that a child sleeping just like you did when you were her age.  Besides, this way if there is ever a fire at night I can save my two precious babies in one sweap.

Monday, May 14, 2012

From her mouth

Today Zoey called her daddy a poo poo head. But not in a dad you are a poo poo head for not letting me do that thing I wanted. But it was more a term of adornment. It was strange. And we have no idea where she picked it up because none of us would say that. I'm thinking daycare. But who knows. Either way, daddy is a poo poo head and mommy isn't. :)

Sunday, May 13, 2012

How I Met Your Father VI

I go through my first week of school ok. If you have been reading my blog from the start you might remember my dunk tank post. If not, go read it. Seriously. Its the next chapter of the story. It has details I don't even remember now, a year and a half after I wrote it.

Although, I do need to add a few extra facts....

But read dunk tank first, because otherwise this won't make sense.

I went to see Hairspray with my family and Chris and his friend Webb. I, naturally, sat between Chris and Webb. I'm still not too sure how that happened. Somehow in the first part of the movie both boys grabbed my hands. So I sat watching this movie (which I had already seen 2 or 3 times before this. It coincidentally was the movie my mom took me to to distract me when I broke up with the boyfriend after I decided to move) holding hands with TWO boys that aren't my boyfriend, thinking about breaking up with the boyfriend. And then, out of nowhere, Chris kissed my hand!!!! To this day, he says that Webb was supposed to do it too and it was a big joke. But, I highly doubt that. With that I wigged out, stole my hands back, and finished the movie curled up in a ball. It was awkward.

After the movie, Chris mentioned that a family in the crowd  was his family. This struck me as strange, because he chose to sit by me and my family instead of his.

Later that night Chris and Webb picked me up to go to the lake with Kody, one of his roommates. I borrowed my cousins swimsuit and off we went. We got there and Chris and Kody decide to just go skinny dipping. Yea, they went there. Webb and I were content in proper swimming attire. I don't think I have ever been more grateful for Webb in my life. I went in the water first and waited, backwards, for the others. Once in the water I just tried not to think about the whole those two are naked thing.  Once I got over that I had a great time just goofing off, being teenagers. I felt free, for the first time.

The next day we go home. And, as you know, broke it off for good with the boyfriend. It wasn't until this day that I realized how many mind games he had been using with me. He must have known it was coming, as he was fully prepared to use everything in his power to stop it from happening, including showing me a gun he said he planned to use once I left because his doctor told him Friday he had cancer and without me he had no reason to live. Ummmm..., Yeah. It was a long night. But somehow I was able to stand my ground. (*note, he is fully alive today. As far as I know anyways. And he didn't have cancer.*)

I got back to Orem the next night. First thing I did was go up to Chris' apartment. His roommates were both working, so it was just us. We sat there in the living room with something on the TV. I was on one couch and he was on the other. I told him that I broke up with the boyfriend, which led us into an almost too natural "what does that make us" conversation. We both concluded that we didn't just want this to be a rebound kind of thing and to just let things go how they go and to not rush into anything. Somehow in this conversation, we ended up on the same couch. We talked and talked that night. It was almost too obvious that waiting wasn't going to work. Back then I did this little hand wave thing with the saying "that's how I roll." I said that and he asked for me to show him my hand thing again. Then he very obviously mimicked it very poorly. So I had to show him again. Once again, he couldn't grasp it so he asked for me to help him. And this is how me held hands for the first time, since the movie doesn't count. We spent the rest of the night holding hands until he walked me upstairs to my place.

Monday I went to class wondering what the heck just happened. Was it going to be awkward from now on? Did I mess things up by going too fast? Was I utterly crazy for falling for this boy? Ex boyfriend called and told me that he got off the phone with his doctor and somehow his cancer was worse than he thought and he didn't know what to do and blah blah blah. How could I leave him when he needed someone during this hard time? But now things were far too complicated. Chris picked me up from school because I just rode the bus. I think that was the first time I cried in front of him. He held me and told me I could do whatever I needed to do. But, I told him that that was final. I wasn't going to get back together with him. We ended that conversation by holding hands going into Walmart. He was there when I needed someone. And that's how it always has been ever since.


Our first kiss came 2 days later.... so much for taking things slow, eh? That next weekend he went camping with his family and didn't have phone service, so at night he drove down to where we could talk. It was our Saturday night conversation that we both said I love you. And yes, if you were doing the math, that was only 6 days after I broke up with the ex. And with that we became interpretable. The only time we were apart when we were awake was either school or work. And sometimes not even then. Chris developed this new obsession with going to the mall when I was working and would just walk past a billion times until I got my lunch. That was also the only weekend we were apart that whole year. After that if I was visiting my family, he went with me. And if he was visiting his, I went with him.

That September I went to New Mexico with his family and met his grandparents, aunt, and uncle. By November we were talking about marriage. January he talked to my dad. February 13th he proposed. August 8th, roughly a year and 2 weeks after we met, we said I do. On our 6 month anniversary we found out I was pregnant. And now baby number 2 is due a week before our 5 year mark of knowing each other. It is hard to believe we have been together for almost 5 years. We obviously didn't take things slowly like we said. But you know what, I'm ok with that. We were destined to be together, to be in love. He is my best friend. They say that young marriages don't work because you haven't grown as a person. Well, for us, I couldn't think of anything better. We get to grow up together. We have had our ups and downs, like every married couple. But our ups by far out number our downs. I am so blessed to be his wife, and honored that he decided to take a chance on the crazy city girl with a boyfriend.

Friday, May 4, 2012

How I Met Your Father Part V

I'm sure I left you all waiting with anticipation as to the conclusion of my story. I'm sorry. I had this writed forever ago but never posted it for some unknown reason. For those of you who haven't read the full story go here for part I.


Anywho, on with the show....






My mom and I drive down to my new school to finalize everything and find a place to live. We get a big list of apartments, and we start looking. First place, gross. Second place, blah. Third place? Super nice! We decide that this is it. It is close to campus, private rooms, and just perfect. We sign the contract right there and plan to move in a week or so later. They give me my room number and building right away. On our drive home I text Chris to tell him I found an apartment. I tell him the place and he asks if I talked to Andrea--which I did. That is the same place he is at! I tell him the building. We are in the same building! Only one floor apart. I got kind of excited that I had someone I knew so close to me just in case because I was starting to double guess my decision to move.

The time came for me to move. It was anti climatic. My mom was working and I just put everything in my car, said bye to my dad and drove off. I got there and called Chris and he and his two roommates came down to help me with all my stuff. I sat in my room thinking what have I got myself into. Boy was nervous that I would go off and find some boy there who would sweep me off my feet. Little did he know, I already met him. Chris invited me to come over for dinner, which I gladly accepted. I had no idea how to cook! I walk in and he has made steaks for everyone. A boy that can cook, and can cook something fancy like a steak? Maybe I wasn't going to starve this year!

The three boys decided to go bowling that night and invited me along. Of course I said yes. Once again I am waiting in line to pay, and here Mr. Chris comes and pays for me anyway. They decide to go by bowling names. Chris uses him usual nickname, which I thought was the strangest thing. I couldn't think of anything so they said to do my last name. We find out that our last names start with the same word. (For privacy reasons I'm leaving this out. Those of you who know me in real life know just how crazy this was as both are unique names) What are the odds of that???

I only stayed there that night and went back home to take a trip to Boise to see the best band ever. And so that trip had a lot of talking and thinking about my current relationship. I cannot disclose what happened on said trip in fear of a breach of best friend confidentiality, but I was left wanting one thing. To be single. That's not a normal reaction for me. Before that, the thought of being single scared me. Perhaps so much that that is why I stayed for so long....

I get back and go to boyfriend's niece's dance recital. And the whole time I was thinking this is not me, this is not where I want to be. But I only had a few hours, so I didn't do anything about it.

School started that week and I took that time soaking it all in, but apparently forgetting about my subtle thoughts the weekend prior because I so wanted to just go back home.

Friday, April 13, 2012

How I met your Father Part IV

The next day I stay with my aunt and cousins for a while. They went to visit family from the other side. It was slightly awkward since I didn't know them. Then Aunt Sheri got a call or text from someone. She said that Chris is on his way, he forgot to give something to them. And sure enough here he comes trotting in the door. Ok....what am I supposed to do? I can't just run up to him and say thanks for the great night. So I kind of just sit there and avoid all eye contact. After a while he leaves. Turns out he just wanted an excuse to come see me again and was pretty disappointed I didn't talk to him. We start to text back and forth throughout the day.

My mom and I leave to go back home. She really wanted to hear all the gossip of the last couple days. But I didn't want anything to do with that. I was in my own little world. I had a plan. I was breaking up with the boy back home. And I wanted to switch schools...to one that just happened to have a great dance program I could get into. And happened to be the same school Chris was going to go to. As we drove past it I asked my mom what she thought about me going there and, once again, she jumped on the opportunity. I text Chris so see if he knew there was a deadline for admissions, as it was already the end of July. One thing lead to another and my dad was at home calling the school to see what needed to be done for the transfer.

I got home and went straight to the boy back home's place and broke up with him. I honestly don't know what the reasoning was behind it, besides I wanted my freedom and he wasn't going to take me anywhere really. He wasn't going to buy me drinks from a gas station. I cried and cried and cried. Turns out I wasn't ready for that, and we got back together after a few days...if we even lasted that long. That summer we broke up a few times.

Christina and I kept texting, mainly when I was at work so boy wouldn't see and be suspicious. I told him that we were going back through to another wedding. So he told me that he and Webb would be at my aunts and we could play dance dance, since I had no idea what he was talking about.

One night right before the second wedding, I can't remember what we were talking, about but I remember thinking I can't break up with boy because no other boy would ever want someone as damaged as me. And boy, at that time, I was pretty damaged. And so I stopped talking to Chris for a while, which was probably only a day in all honesty.

I felt kind of strange telling my mom we had to stop at my Aunt Sheri's because some boys wanted to see me. But we did anyway. Chris called while we were on our way, but I didn't answer. I didn't want to make a bigger deal out of it than it already was. (which was really nothing...) Apparently he forgot the game and wanted us to pick it up on the way. So we get there and have nothing to do. They were sitting on either end of the couch with the middle open. I purposely sat on the floor next to my mom. It was awkward and nothing at all like the rodeo. I was starting to think that that was just a fluke.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

How I met your Father Part III

A rodeo sounded a lot more fun than waiting around with my mom and grandma reading Harry Potter. So I asked my mom to see if I could go. Apparently she was thrilled with the idea of me going somewhere with Webb and Chris, so off we go. I was just going to stay the night at my cousins, so they would just drop off the two of us together.

Chris drove us through the canyon to the rodeo. That was the scariest but most fun drive I think I have ever had. A few times I thought I was crazy to get into a car with some boy I hardly knew to drive in a canyon while it was raining. Especially since he was more occupied with his passengers than his driving. This was when "Hey there Delilah" was big. He sang it but changed the name to Alicia. Today, he claims that he said Haylie (my cousin who was with me). But I know the first one was Haylie, then the rest was Alicia. I know this because the song played all the time at work after this and it made me giggle.

We get to the rodeo and Haylie finds one of her friends and says she will be back. So the three of us go find a seat. I go in first, then Webb, then Chris. I can't remember a single thing about the actual goings on in the arena. We just talked. And talked. And talked. I was kinda bummed that Webb sat next to me and not Chris. Where did that feeling come from??? I know we talked about a school trip where they stopped to eat 40 miles away from where I am from. They told me that when my boyfriend asked what I did, just say I hung out with Christina and Webblina. And so, Christina and Webblina became contacts in my phone. I just remember laughing and laughing. Some of the laughter was from the oddity of the situation, some of nerves, and some of sheer fun. Haylie found us right when it was about over, naturally.

We stopped at a gas station to grab a drink before we left. I waited in line to buy mine behind them and Chris snagged it and put it on the counter with his. I was not used to someone buying me anything. It was kind of nice.

As they drove us home my mind was racing. They took a detour through a field to get to my aunts house. That was probably the best detour ever. I finally felt like a carefree teenager just hanging out. No pressure to be what I wasn't or trying to fit my life into a mold I had set for myself. I was finally free to be me. I doubt Webb has any idea just how perfect (and symbolic now that I think of it) that short turn was.

Unfortunately, we finally got home. Before I left Webb gave me a ring he folded with a dollar bill. they said something to the effect that I can wear that one instead of the ring I had from the boy back home.

I layed in bed and just relived that night. It was perfect. It was the life I always wanted. But it was over. I was going home in a day and would never see them again. ...Or so I thought.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

How I met your father. Part II

Princess Tara left and I went about my business. Then the reception started. I was enjoying my time with family that I don't get to see too much. At some point he was sitting with a friend and called me over. I thought it was a little strange, but whatever. Then he told me I got something on my shirt, and as I looked down he flicked my nose! Who does that??? Apparently this guy.

The reception was over and my mom and I went back to my grandmas. I was eagerly awaiting my book to come in the morning. My friend and I would have an unspoken contest to see who would finish the book first. My goal was to have it done by the end of the weekend, since I was going to have a lot of downtime.

The wedding was about an hour away from my grandma's in her backyard. It was cute and sweet. Instead of going back, we stayed in a motel room that my aunt got the day before. I read a little then my mom and I decided to go down to the pool and dip our feet in with my aunt. All of a sudden this boy and his friend were down there too giving us jolly ranchers. I thought it was odd. I found out that Princess Tara's name was Chris and his friend Webb. Chris tried to push us all in the pool, but luckily decided against it because we didn't have extra clothes for the other reception we were waiting for. They kind of waited awkwardly for us to leave then hurried out of there. As we get closer to our room, and subsequently my car, my mom and I noticed all sort of writing on it. I can't remember what exactly they wrote, but it was something to the lines of Webb is Awesome, Chris is the bomb. What is the deal with these kids? They are so strange. I kind of liked the attention. But was kind of nervous because the whole time I was there the boyfriend was texting me saying I better not talk to any boys because they will try to steal me away.

Chris and Webb left shortly after to go help set up. My aunt found Chris' phone left in the "boys room." So I took it and started texting Webb on it. I thought it was sweet because he had a picture of a temple as the background. I don't know how long it took til they figured out that I had it. Probably not very long. I should ask. But during this time, I got a random text too. Turns out I was texting Webb but Chris was intercepting it, and then he was actually texting me on someone else's phone.

We get to the reception and he snags his phone right away. There was supposed to be dancing a little bit later in the evening, and my Grandma was set on me dancing with one of the many boys out there. I tried to ignore her promptings because I already had a boy. I didn't need to dance with one of them. All of a sudden Chris, Webb, and I think a few others ran past me. I asked what they were doing, and they told me to come with them.

Outside was the car of the newly married couple. I figured out where the paint came from that was on my car. We wrote on their windows. They thought it was funny to put tampons all over...I don't really know why that's funny. And put a thong on the rear view mirror. I'm sure there were other things involved, but that's all I remember. I was the official writer on the car, and the boys did all the rest.

After we were done I stayed back and hung out with my mom. Then out of the blue, Webb came up to me and asked me to dance. It was awkward. What was more awkward, is that I was glad it was him and not Chris because I had a feeling he was starting to get a thing for me. And that's the last thing I needed.

It started to rain and the reception got cut a little bit short. My cousin's sister wanted to go to a rodeo in town with Chris and Webb. A rodeo sounded kind of fun....