I don't want to sound like I am throwing my whole "I saw the inside of my uterus and had to get it pushed back in" thing out of proportion. I know scarier things have happened to others. But, luckily I guess, it was the scariest thing I hope ever happens to me. And so I shall write about it once again.
Anywho, being able to stair death in the face kind of helped me change my perspective. This has come in handy as I start this new journey called nursing school. So many people in my class seam to be so stressed about everything. I confess, I find myself being included. But I just have to remember, "in the course of a life, what does it matter?" I can't stress or feel bad about a bad test score. I don't have any extra energy to put towards those kind of things. I know that I will know(ish) the answers eventually. The fact that I chose a diet low in salt instead of full of fruits and veggies does not make any better or worse of a nurse. Now, if given the same test 5 years from now I better get close to a perfect score. But for now, I did my best. And how can you do better than your best? What matters is that I have been given the opportunity to be in a nursing program and one step closer to my goal. What matters is that in the end of the day I can go home to my family. What matters is that I am alive to enjoy these things.
Do I get stressed? oh yea. Have I cried more in these last couple weeks than the weeks prior? yup. I just have to keep reminding myself what is important in my life and what is worth my energy. Because lets face it, sleep and energy is hard to come by these days with my cute little perfect family.
In saying that I need to remember to use my time wisely. When I put Zoey to bed I need to be fully focused on her. Some days bedtime is the only time I get with just her an I. Too often I find myself rushing to get through it and not paying as much attention to her as I should. Make each moment count. I can't have my mind on all the things I still need to do when it should be focused my my daughter.....even if it is the 45638372 time I have read Goodnight moon and she fights me over the mittens being, in fact, mittens, and not hands.
Life goes too fast. There is no guarantee I will even see tomorrow, so live in today. Because who knows, my lungs might fall out next time. And something tells me that that's not a good thing.
