Thoughts on life

I just spent 10 beautiful days out of school. I got to spend them with my family and sweet daughters. Saw a few friends. Worked a little. Took the NCLEX-PN and PASSED!!!!! Became a nurse. EEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! And spent some time with my husband. He has worked so hard while I have been slaving away at school. I don't thank him enough for how much we depend on him.

We took a drive with just the two of us. As we were talking I leaned over and put my head on his shoulder. I used to do that all the time when we would drive to visit his family out of town. It had been a long time since I did that. But it felt so nice. Just him and me driving to nowhere. It was then that I thought just how luck I am to be able to do that. I should not be here. My life was in my doctors and nurses hands. And they were able to give me the gift of life....twice in one day. (Ava being the second...or first I guess.) I have been struggling with hatred towards my doctor for potentially causing my problem. I have failed to remember it doesn't matter if he caused it or not, he is the one responsible for keeping me here for my sweet family. And for that, I will be eternally grateful.

I have been so cought up in school that I have forgotten why I am doing this in the first place, and how lucky I am to be able to actually be in the program that I'm in. Life is not a guarantee. It is a blessing. We really need to look at life as not something we have to endure, but something we GET to endure.

I love my family. I love my sweet daughters. And I absolutely love my giving husband who has put up with my craziness. He didn't sign up for half crazy wife in nursing school, but he takes it in stride.

From her mouth

Today Ava had her 9 month appointment. On the way Zoey asked what the doctor was going to do to her. I said just check her and see how she is growing. Then Zoey said tearfully, "I want to keep Ava." So I had to explain that we get to keep her forever. "But I don't want her to take my toys forever." ...oh Zoey.

From her mouth

I was talking to Zoey about a big test I need to take to become a nurse. She then told me "mommy, I don't want you to be a nurse." Curious, I asked why. "I want you to be my mommy"

 Oh, that was the sweetest, saddest thing I have ever heard. I can't wait to just be a mommy and a nurse and put this whole student thing behind me.