I just do it

I had a dream the other night that I was talking to Kate, from Kate plus 8 (which is really strange, since I've probably only seen half of an episode). Anywho, she wasn't all fame-ified in my dream, just a regular person. The only thing I remember from this dream was asking her how she did everything. And I specifically remember her looking at me as she put her arm around me and said "I just do it."

This was an answer to a lot of my problems lately. I've been super stressed juggeling my school, family, work, house, laundry.... And I just have to remember to just do it. Don't stress out about it. Don't get distracted (ahemm...blogger....). Just do what I have to do. No questions asked. Maybe this is how I will get through this semester. and next semester. and next semester. and next semester. and a few semesters after that....

There are good people

The other day at work a little boy who was probably about 5 years old wanted to buy a candy that was $1.99 and he only had a dollar. I tried to tell him he had to choose another candy. So I took him over to the candy and picked a few that he could buy. He wanted the king size reeces, but that was too much so I showed him the regular size that he could afford and he didn't want it. As I was showing him what he could a get a man came up to the register and his older sister came in to get him. I'm assuming the family was next door at Ross. The little boy got up to show her what he wanted (his original 1.99 candy) and she said you don't have enough lets go. I could see his face drop. With that, the man waiting took the candy and bought it for him. It was the cutest thing. I don't think the little boy understood at first because he came back, taped on his arm, and said thank you.

It was a very touching moment.

the next day

I'll start out by saying my Granddad passed away over 3 years ago. It was very tough loosing him and I miss him more than I thought possible.

Well, yesterday at work his youngest brother came and bought something. I can't even tell you what it was he bought since I was focusing on not crying. I've seen him several times in the last 3 years, and have been totally fine. He is just Uncle Dick. But for some reason, as I searched for his Rewards Card under our last name my Granddad's name came up. And at that second I saw his name Dick looked down and out of the corner of my eye he looked just like Granddad. And then I had to realize he wasn't, and he is gone. I really didn't like that feeling of being so vulnerable and raw again at work. And so I went to the bathroom and had a mini pity party for 3 minutes.

That happened on September 11th. It really made me think about all the people who were morning the life of their loved ones who were taken so abruptly. How many of them have moments like I did where they are cut open and the wound is fresh again. I didn't really understand what was going on, or the importance of it at the time. In fact, I didn't even know that the World Trade Towers were and the Pentagon were in different cities at first. Which goes to show I had a lot to learn about the atrocities that happened that day, and the subsequent years after. There are still times when I see a plane flying really close to the ground that my heart skips a beat.

used to??

For those that don't know I was a pretty hard core dancer growing up. Six days a week sophomore, junior, senior, and half of my freshman year of college. This included every Friday night and most of Saturday. Needless to say dancing was my life. I took about 7 months off when I was 18. Not really by choice, but because my studio was being too dramatic and by the time I was forced to leave there it was too late to sign up for the classes at school. I then transferred schools and was a dance major. That was where my husband and I feel in love. (But, that's a story for a whole different post). We decided to more back to where my family was. So I went back to my first college, and then took dance classes there. Second semester there the second time I found out I was pregnant. So when it was over in April I took a break from school to have her the following October. I went back to school part time in the spring, but didn't take any dance classes. So here I am in a jazz class after a 16 month break.

Yesterday someone in the class asked me "did you used to be a dancer." I answered yes and went on with the class. But that got me thinking. Used to be??? Am I that bad that I'm no longer a dancer? Is there a time in your life when you can say "I used to be a dancer." I think something like that stays with you you whole life. I didn't used to be a dancer. I am a dancer. To me that's almost like saying I used to be a mom when your children move out and leave you. You are still a mom, you can't take back those 18+ years. They are so ground into you that you can't change it. Dance is just like that. Possibly, I guess I could say I used to dance, but still a dancer. However, right now I am dancing. So I can't even say that.

I don't know how one little question can make you go into philosophical mode. But, it just goes to show how careful we need to be when we are talking to someone. We don't know what they are going through.