Day 13 Music

Day 13 is about music that has helped you get through some tough times.

I can't really say that there was a moment in my life that I turned on the radio and the perfect song came on with the perfect lyrics that changed my life. Sure, there have been times when I related to what the song was talking about, but I can't  really remember a big "AH HA" moment.

There is a band, however, that I will always go to to get me in a good mood. This would be Cute Is What We Aim For. (the main website is under construction, so thats just the facebook page). I'm not entirely sure where they came in the picture, but they became the band my best friend and I have clamed as ours. We've seen them 4 or 5 times. One concert we even drove 7 hours to go to.

It was a long drive. And I was bored.

Charlotte and I were on the ballroom team in college and my nick name became cucu tete because a sweatshirt of I always wore that we bought at one of their shows.

It is now my lucky sweater. It used to be black, but it is really more gray now because I literally wore it every day for about 2 years. I made sure I put it on when I went to the doctors when they thought I might have had a miscarriage. Yes. It is THAT lucky.

 We have even gone backstage and had a CD signed by the band. (Now, everyone but the main singer is gone. But thats ok. I still love them/him). For years in the "who I'd like to meet" section on myspace they were the answer. I was so excited to change that and say I did. Woot Woot.

Perhaps they aren't the "best" band ever with moving lyrics and never done before drum solos. But to me, they are pretty darn awesome. They remind me of the crazy teenage days. And as soon as I hear their songs I get a big smile on my face from all the crazy memories.

Here is their first main song that came out. We were obsessed with his little smerk. ahhh. His hair is kinda crazy, but gotta love his smerk. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAQcNo9yWbM

And now the other half on the cucu tete obsession.

She is wearing stunna shades to protect her identity.



I'm linking up with Tuesday's treasures because having a best friend who actually understands the beauty of the smerk is a treasure.

Day 11 Something People Complement you on

I'm skipping a few days. I feel like they are a little to personal to be sharing with the entire universe. I've learned something about blogging after "accepting the challenge:" Always read the challenge in its entirety before committing to it. I realize now, that some of them are kind of out there. And they swear. You really don't need to know who has made my life bad or who I have drifted away from. Its not like you know them, and even if you do I don't want you to think differently or anything about someone because you read some lowly little blog known as The Journey of a WAHM Wannabe. That's not cool.

So on to day 11. (besides I was pretty behind, so skipping these days puts me pretty close to where I should be in the first place.)

I get complements on being so tiny after having a baby. And I know 99.9% of you mothers are going to shake your head at me for saying this, but....I really don't feel like it is a fair complement. I only gained 17 pounds. I had diabetes and a few other various health issues that made me gain very little. So after giving birth I only had 4 pounds to loose before getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Breastfeeding made that pretty simple. So I feel guilty when people look at me and say things about me being so tiny yet having a 1 year old. (Oh, gosh. I still can't believe i have a 1 year old, I think its going to take a year to get used to this idea). I didn't work to get this, and I know mothers who work their butts off to get back to where they were before having their baby with little success. They are the ones that deserve the complement. Not me.

But for all you who find themselves with gestational diabetes, remember its not a death sentence even though it may feel like it. You potentially will gain less than 20 pounds and loose it all  within the first week of being a mommy. :) There is an upside to that battle.

Day 6: something you hope you never have to do

Something I hope I never have to do is come across a situation where I have to do CPR, especially to Zoey. I'm CPR certified and I really don't think I would trust myself to actually do it right. And if something were to happen to that person and they wouldn't make it, I would blame myself for not being able to save them or to do more. And if it was Zoey I'd be an even larger wreck. Although I am going into nursing and will see life or death situations, having to do CPR just scares me. Practicing on a dummy is not the same thing as doing it on a real person. Besides I don't want to work in the ER or anything anyways, so hopefully these situations won't be something I deal with on a daily or frequent basis.

Day 5: Something you wish to do in your life

This is something kind of cheesy. But, the one thing I truly hope I get to do is sit next to Chris as we go to a Cowboys game. Few things in life could make him happier than seeing his team live. As much as I get bored watching sports, I know that this would make my husband's life complete. Being able to share in that moment with him would be an honor.

Other than that, I'd love to go to New York and see all the ballets and shows. But, I think I'd turn all that down if it was between that and Dallas. Call me crazy.

Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for

I've been thinking and thinking about what to post for this one...hence the gap between day 3 and day 4.

Basically, I've come to the conclusion that this is between me and this person. The Internet doesn't need to know, and neither do you. Sorry. Making it public would just exacerbate my problem even if the chances are pretty slim of actually ever reading this. This issue has been something I've been struggling with for some time now, and hope one day I can put it all behind me.. :)

Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.

I guess the easy stance on this would be to say I need to forgive myself for not being selfish in a time when I should have, and to forgive myself when I was selfish and shouldn't have been.

I was in a very bad relationship. It was definitely one of those everyone is telling you get out but you just don't listen because you're "in love" relationships. Everything about it was bad. Now, 3 years later I'm still haunted by some of the things I've had to go through because of it. Things that only I will ever know, or understand. I hate the fact that I didn't listen to my gut a lot earlier in that relationship. I needed to be selfish, but I held on because he "needed me." The only reason he needed me was because he had too much emotional baggage and needed someone to leach on to and suck all their blood and money out of. He needed someone to pay his bills. I didn't realize how abnormal it was that a freshly graduated 18 year old was paying the rent for a 22 year old. Someone who didn't have a car. Someone who didn't have a kid. (as far as he ever told me...). Who didn't have a credit card or bills of that nature. Who had a full time job and only paid $300 a month. Now, I'm a 22 year old with a baby, a mortgage on a house we OWN, car payment, house bills ect. We manage perfectly, it may get tight at times, but we make it work. I really wish I would have realized how emotionally, and financially abusive that relationship was when I was actually in it, rather than now. I saw the signs. I just didn't listen until I had a cute boy who showed me what a real gentleman was like. (who I ended up cuddling with last night because that's what married people do :-) )But, I also wish I could forgive myself for making that mistake. I really wish I could.

Day 2: What I love about myself

What do I love about myself, besides being totally awesome of course. :) I guess I would say my drive and dedication to my school work. School doesn't come easy to me, even if it looks like it. I have to work on it. A LOT. Now, add being a mom on top of a student and it makes my choice to keep going to school that much harder, but the end result that much better. I only have my associates degree, but I'm pretty proud of that. This time next year I should be a 1.5 months away from having my BA in English. I totally see why people say get your education done before you have children, because it is hard work. But, to me, accomplishing this while being a mom is something to be pretty dang proud of.

I also love being me. Is that bad to say? I have the best husband, the cutest daughter, amazing family. I have learned you need surround yourself with happy people if you want to be happy yourself. It took me a while to get to this point. But I love myself for it. I love that I'm no longer scared to speak my mind (for the most part). When I say something I do it. I stand up for my convictions. I may get the crappy end of something because of it, but at least I'm not a sell out.

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.

Oh boy, any to start off with something uplifting.

There are a few things that I don't like about myself. One, I have a hard time keeping to one task. I get distracted. So it takes FOOOORRRREEEEVVVEEEERRRRRRRRRR to do things. Especially housework. Or shopping. Or homework. Or Showers. You get the point. I have been diagnosed with ADD so that may have something to do with it. But I don't know if I really trust that diagnosis because he said a lot of other crap too. And I was at a crazy place. And yada yada yada about that. But it definitely makes sense.

Anywho, back to keeping on one task...I totally just realized I went off track there for a bit. I guess that just shows you that I'm not making this up. :)....anywho again, I hate how off track I get. I really wish I could say I'm going to clean the kitchen and it be done in 10 minutes like it would my husband. He doesn't understand how it takes me so long to get small things done, and, frankly, I don't either. It drives me nuts, and I really wish I could change it.

I have realized that sometimes, ok, more than sometimes, Facebook gets in my way and I stop what I'm doing and go see if someone said anything new. But, as you know because of my death to facebook post, I have since gotten rid of it. So, technically it hasn't gotten in my way of things nearly as much as before. However, I have yet to remember that its pointless to sign in my Facebook, and I log in at least once a day.

So there you have it, I hate my distractable mind and my lack of a mind when it comes to signing in to Facebook. :)

30 days of truth? Can you handle it?!

I ran across this blog about 30 days of truth. I think it is a great idea. Granted, I doubt I'll be able to write for 30 straight days in a row, but I'm gonna try. :)

1)I won't have to come up with new, amazing, epiphany-ish things to say.

2)It will give me an excuse to open up on here and write more than just the surface of my life.

3)It will force me to think inwardly about who I am and how I got here. Sometimes my life gets so crazy I tend to forget about Alicia and just go on auto pilot...which, unfortunately for hubby, is generally a cranky auto pilot. Maybe I won't be so cranky all the time??? We can hope, right?

Here are the 30 days:

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.


Day 2: Something you love about yourself.

Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.

Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.

Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.

Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter)

Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.

Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.

Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

Day 30: A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.



Feel free to follow along with me! I'd love to enjoy this journey with others.